Late Evening Gapes at Biden’s Calling Putin a ‘Battle Prison’

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New Battle, Who Dis?

President Biden referred this week to Vladimir Putin, Russia’s leader, as a “war criminal,” and a Kremlin spokesman responded by saying the assertion was unfair and hypocritical, citing the USA’ bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki throughout World Battle II.

Trevor Noah criticized Russia for coming “with that previous [expletive].”

“Severely, Russia, you’re gonna carry up one thing America did within the ’40s?” Noah mentioned. “America has dedicated loads of battle crimes since then. Sustain with the occasions, yo!”

“It’s humorous, the whole lot we learn about St. Patrick’s Day shouldn’t be true. St. Patrick was born in England, not Eire. There are not any snakes in Eire to drive out. And that creep carrying the ‘Kiss me, I’m Irish’ T-shirt? In all probability not Irish.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“In actual fact, the world’s first recorded St. Patrick’s Day parade befell in what’s now St. Augustine, Florida, in 1601. At this parade, they drank inexperienced beer and ate inexperienced beef. They didn’t dye the meat — the whole lot was simply very moldy again then.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

The Bits Value Watching

On Thursday’s “Tonight Present,” Billy Crystal joined Jimmy Fallon in impersonating celebrities in dialog by way of mouth cutouts on journal covers.