Trevor Noah: Russia Loves Enjoying Chess

“However America is for certain — they’re sure — that Russia remains to be planning to invade. Actually, as we speak the U.S. Secretary of State even stated what Russia would possibly do to justify an invasion is launch faux and even actual chemical weapons at themselves after which blame it on Ukraine. Yeah, yeah, initially, uh, spoilers, hi there!” — TREVOR NOAH

“Secondly, are you able to think about that, staging a chemical assault on your self to justify your invasion? That’s fairly tousled, particularly for the Russian troopers who’ve to hold out the mission: [imitating Russian soldier] ‘So we launch this on ourselves however that is faux, sure?’ [imitating another Russian soldier] ‘Yeah, we’ll discover out when bomb explodes. Thriller, pleasure.’” — TREVOR NOAH

“And , folks, as erratic because the Russians’ actions might sound, you perceive what they’re doing proper now, proper? They’re enjoying chess. That is actually what chess is all about: [imitating chess player] ‘Oh, I’m transferring ahead. I’m transferring backwards. I’m attacking. No, I’m not. The horse goes this fashion, then it turns.’ That is what Russia is doing — and the Russians love enjoying chess. They’ve been designed for this second. In the meantime, the remainder of us, we don’t play chess anymore. We love dumb video games now. We’re like, ‘Uh, I want a five-letter phrase that ends in d-e. Plate? No.’” — TREVOR NOAH